~Growing Up~

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My baby boy is officially growing up! It’s a bitter-sweet adventure for sure. It really makes you realize how precious this time is. We have to cherish every moment of these days. These are the memories that we are creating for a lifetime.

He turns 1 on Sunday & it feels like he was just born yesterday. It seems like the more babies I have, the quicker they grow-up.

He stubborn as a mule, loving, kind, funny, intelligent, can say 11 different words, walks, loves to share, loves playing with his cousins & is a Mama & Daddy’s boy!!! He has such a huge personality for such a little person and I will always cherish being privileged enough to watch him grow.

Namasté Y’all!!!

~ REIKI ~

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thBKFVJT7ZI first heard about Reiki in 2010. I received my first Reiki attunement on November 6, 2010. I will never forget that day. The feeling of love, real Universal love & connection, the feeling of oneness that I experienced is by far the best experience I have ever had in this lifetime! The “high” I felt from so much life force energy (Chi, Ki, Kundalini)flowing  through me created this amazingly healing emotional release, that tears started uncontrollably streaming down my face (I hadn’t cried in years!) I was buzzing for almost a full week afterwards. I was so alive and spiritually aware for months. I was so gung-ho that I dove in head first. I was working with cancer patients at the hospital in Dallas & telling everyone I came in contact with about Reiki. I was practicing on myself & my daughter every free moment I had. If she had an earache, Reiki. If she was tired, Reiki. Didn’t matter what it was, Reiki was my answer for everything!

I am now a Reiki Master/Teacher, this means that I have the ability to heal & attune others. It’s been 7 years since my first attunement and I still haven’t attuned anyone. I don’t know if it’s because I still have issues with calling myself a “master/teacher” or not. I can say that one of the main reasons is because after the initial “high” wore off I haven’t felt “worthy” to practice on others. I still sporadically do Reiki on myself, my pets & children. I have tried practicing on my husband, but he’s not open to it yet. One time he let me & it brought up so many emotional issues that he needed to work on and let go of that he made me stop. he says, “plus, your Reiki thing makes me tired.” I recently met one of his friends who turns out, is a Reiki Master also. Talking about it with him was my awakening point. It made me realize how far from my path I have strayed. I believe this was The Universe tapping me on the shoulder & whispering in my ear to come back home to my true self. I am slowly starting to draw myself back in. I pulled out and dusted off my Reiki Manuals & actually read them! Since then, I have met 3 other beautiful souls online who practice Reiki as well and we are talking about starting an online Reiki Circle/Share. I believe this to be the Universal equivalent to someone screaming in my face to pay attention! lol

So all this talk about Reiki, you’re probably wondering ,

WHAT IS REIKI?

According to Reiki.org, Reiki is a Japanese technique for stress reduction and relaxation that also promotes healing. It is administered by “laying on hands” and is based on the idea that an unseen “life force energy” flows through us and is what causes us to be alive. If one’s “life force energy” is low, then we are more likely to get sick or feel stress, and if it is high, we are more capable of being happy and healthy. Reiki is a simple, natural and safe method of spiritual healing and self-improvement that everyone can use. It has been effective in helping virtually every known illness and malady and always creates a beneficial effect. It also works in conjunction with all other medical or therapeutic techniques to relieve side effects and promote recovery. A treatment feels like a wonderful glowing radiance that flows through and around you. Reiki treats the whole person including body, emotions, mind and spirit creating many beneficial effects that include relaxation and feelings of peace, security and wellbeing. Many have reported miraculous results.

HOW DOES REIKI CONFLICT WITH MY RELIGIOUS/SPIRITUAL BELIEFS, OR LACK THEREOF?

Its use is not dependent on one’s intellectual capacity or spiritual development and therefore is available to everyone. It has been successfully taught to thousands of people of all ages and backgrounds.

While Reiki is spiritual in nature, it is not a religion. It has no dogma, and there is nothing you must believe in order to learn and use Reiki. In fact, Reiki is not dependent on belief at all and will work whether you believe in it or not. Because Reiki comes from God, many people find that using Reiki puts them more in touch with the experience of their religion rather than having only an intellectual concept of it.

While Reiki is not a religion, it is still important to live and act in a way that promotes harmony with others. Mikao Usui, the founder of the Reiki system of natural healing, recommended that one practice certain simple ethical ideals to promote peace and harmony, which are nearly universal across all cultures.

I have decided to leave it at this for today. I will post tomorrow on THE 5 PRINCIPLES OF REIKI & how we can incorporate them into our daily lives. Even if you aren’t a practitioner of Reiki.

WE CAN HEAL!!!

Namaste Y’all ❤

 

 

 

‘Q’ is for: QUESTION

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awajeningsoul

I came across this today while researching some stuff. I am not usually into the whole copy/paste thing. I generally prefer to come up with my own content, but this was too good not to share… Here’s an excerpt from the article:

“6 OF THE MOST POWERFUL QUESTIONS TO ASK FOR THE AWAKENING SOUL”

Six of the most powerful questions you can ever ask yourself in any moment are to do entirely with who you “think” you are. They include the following:

  1. Am I this emotion?
  2. Am I this thought?
  3. Am I this physical sensation?
  4. Am I this circumstance?
  5. Am I this body?
  6. Am I this personality?

At first these question might sound strange, overly simplistic, and even bizarre. But the more self-aware you become of your thought processes which give birth to your feelings, perceptions, assumptions and beliefs about the world, the more you will come to see how closely you identify with all of these six elements…

…Once you investigate the true depths of the question, “Who am I?” you come to a fascinating realization: “you” are not who you think you are, what you assume you are, what you have been taught you are, or what you have come to believe you are, and you never have been. Why? Because all of these things are temporary, passing and transient.

I AM ENOUGH!!!

Namasté ❤

 

A2Z-BADGE-100 [2017]

‘L’ is for: Loss

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A little background on this post… I am a recovering addict, at the end of my addiction to opiates, I lost custody of my daughter and 2 older sons. I haven’t seen or spoken to my daughter in 3 years as of May (she’s with her Dad & that’s a story so long I could write a series on it) & my 2 boys have been with my Oma for almost 3 years. I have remained clean since May 2nd, 2014. I didn’t actually lose custody, but signed “temporary custody” to my Grandmother in order to keep my boys safe & do what was best for them while I was in rehab and recovering. After everything was signed & we received our final order in the mail, it had been changed to permanent custody!

The agreement I had with Oma was as soon as I divorced my ex-husband (he wasn’t getting clean and has unfortunately fallen farther into the depths of his addiction), got my own place, got a vehicle & had a steady job then she would return custody to me. Cut to 3 years clean & sober, I am remarried to an amazing man, remain clean & sober, My husband & I have started & run our own business, we own our own property & are building our own house. I spent the first year of my recovery after rehab in a halfway house, after which I returned back to my hometown in East Tennessee where the boys were so I could spend time with them and work on getting them back. For the last 2 years I have been going to see them 3, 4 sometimes 5 days a weeks, helping them with homework, providing clothes, toys, bicycles, and anything & everything my grandmother will let me help with. Last year, I had another baby boy & have done everything in my power to make sure my boys bond with their brother and know that I wasn’t trying to replace them.

Long story short, our business and property is all the way on the other side of the country in Southern Oregon. My husband has been such an amazing sport travelling back and forth all the time for work! The original plan was for him to go develop the property and build our home while I stayed here & slowly acclimated our boys back home with me in the least traumatic way possible. The hardest part is, living with Oma is the only thing the younger one knows (he was only 7 months old when she began taking care of him & he will be 4 this August) and I DO NOT want to just snatch him away from her and do more damage than good!

I try to be a very open & honest person. I speak freely with my family (especially Oma). So I have been making it known every step of the way what has been going on. When I ordered bunk beds, bought their mattresses & then when I filed the petition to reinstate custody of my boys. We have always had an open dialogue about Oma’s wishes, what she thinks would be best for my boys & what would make her feel comfortable in this transition. I understand that this is going to be emotionally taxing on EVERYONE involved! So, I was under the assumption (ass-u-me as they say) that we had worked everything out & had come to an agreement & that we were on the same page & going to handle everything privately (without lawyers).

I filed my petition & last Tuesday we went to court. I had no control over when the court scheduled our court date. I was just as upset as she was that they had scheduled it for what would have been Oma & Poppa’s 60th Anniversary (Poppa passed away 7 years ago)! I go to court all excited & sit in the same row with her & my Aunt, thinking I was about to get the rights to my boys back. It’s so difficult being a “part-time Mama”. I understand that she allows me to have open visitation & be as involved as I can. but I have no say in anything. I have no rights to do what I believe is best for my boys like: homeschool them, follow an alternative vaccine schedule, sign them up for sports & take them camping, hiking, swimming & letting them spend as much time outside as seasonably possible. I have no feelings of animosity towards Oma & I understand that she is doing the best she can for an 80 year old woman. I understand that she did me a huge favor & LOVES my boys whole-heartedly! But they aren’t aloud to do much & spend MOST of their time locked inside watching T.V. & playing on their tablets, I understand it’s because she has a hard time keeping up with them…

We get to court and low & behold, I am blindsided! Oma showed up with an attorney! She claims she doesn’t want us to move because she is afraid she won’t see MY boys again. First of all, I would never do that to her! I love her dearly & was trying to offer her EVERY Christmas & 2-4 weeks EVERY summer, plus we would come visit all the time besides her “scheduled visitation”! So, now her attorney has put everything off for another 60 days…

I’m actually getting to my point now… My husband & I had saved up and put back enough money for me to pay rent, utilities, etc for over 6 months. He was going to go ahead and move to Oregon & start developing & building. I just had to use the money that was for living here for the “transition period” to hire a lawyer so I am not blindsided again & so I will have someone on my side to help do what it best for my boys. So I will no longer be able to stay near MY boys. So not only did I not get custody back, but now I am having to move all the way across the country from them in less than a week! :,(OregonSign

I am devastated! I have absolutely NO CLUE what is going to happen. I feel like my heart & soul have been ripped from my chest & shredded into a gazillion pieces, then stomped & spit on!!!! I am having to trust that the Universe has a plan, that I will get my boys back home with me soon. But I honestly am not too sure of that anymore…

I did an Oracle card reading for myself (Using Sonia Choquette’s “Ask your Guides” cards) on the situation and here is what I drew:

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This reading was honestly, pretty discouraging. I have no clue where we sit right now. But I have NO CHOICE but to trust that God will do everything to protect my innocent boys and make this the least traumatic of an experience as possible. Please pray for my family…

THE UNIVERSE HAS A PLAN!

Namasté ❤

A2Z-BADGE-100 [2017]

~IN REMEMBRANCE~

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I wanted to write this beautiful & eloquent post that was worthy of my baby brother’s photo being on it. But honestly, there is absolutely nothing I can say that would do him or my Mama justice. His beautiful, loving, extremely sweet & daredevil Soul was taken all too soon from this World. And I honestly, have absolutely no idea how my Mama made it through. I pray to God daily that I never have to find out where she managed to find her strength & will to live after having to make the decision to unplug her youngest child from life support…  It’s been 22 years and we still don’t have any answers as to why The Universe decided to take him back. But, in his short, 2 year & 8 month long life, he touched the lives of so many. I often wonder what kind of man he would be. Would he have been the “good” one? Would he have a family? Would he continue in the daredevil spirit and be into extreme sports? Would he still be kind & gentle, making the World a better place for all? I’m pretty positive he would be all of the above! He was meant for greatness! So why was his life cut so extremely short?! These are things I will never understand about how The Universe works…

I used to dream of you so often, where did you go? Is it a coincidence that I haven’t dreamed of you since I gave birth to my oldest son? Surely not. Did you choose to re-incarnate so soon? Did you choose to become my son instead of my brother? Why would you leave Mama in such pain like that? Or did you have no choice but to leave and so you tried to come back to us? Or is the pain of losing you clouding my intuition completely and you’re still here watching over us? Maybe the fear of losing my own child shut my intuition down and so you CAN’T come to me in my dreams anymore? I wish I knew the answers… Maybe some day when we are together again on the other side…

You are truly & DEEPLY missed Jeff! You were the epitome of Love! Your Soul lives on forever, we know. We just wish it could have been with us for much, MUCH longer…

We were blessed to have you for the time we were allotted.

Happy Birthday Sweet Angel Baby, Your Sissy ❤

~TRUST~

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Do you ever have a hard time trusting? I’m not talking about in a relationship with another person. But Universal trust… Because I am struggling with it today.

You see this beautiful mini-van? Well, she’s all mine & has been for about 3 weeks now! I was so stoked to get her and I absolutely LOVE driving her! She has ALL the bells & whistles & runs perfect… Or so I thought…

The husband noticed a small oil spot in the driveway the other day so, I did the responsible adult thing and made an appointment with the dealership. Well, today was the day. I was positive they were going to tell me I had a seal that needed to be replaced in the oil pan or something simple like that. Boy was I wrong!

The dealership called me with a $6000 estimate! Turns out that small oil spill is actually oil getting pushed past the pistons & into the spark plugs, a seal that connects to the transmission is bad so the transmission would have to be completely removed to change it and my timing belt is going bad. I called the dealership I bought it from, but since I purchased it “as-is” & didn’t know I could buy an extended warranty, they are refusing to do anything to help fix the problem. Even though they are the ones that sold me a lemon. And unfortunately Tennessee doesn’t have a lemon law for used vehicles so I’m not protected under that.

Now that I have given you a lesson on mechanics and to make sure you never buy a vehicle under the assumption it’s been put through diagnostics at the dealership, what now?

Trust.

I am in the predicament of having absolutely no choice, but to trust that The universe has a plan for my family and our financial situation. The estimate to fix this vehicle is the exact price we were about to buy our new-to-us manufactured home for.  So, as you can imagine this is a very stressful expense. We can technically “afford” it, but that was money set aside for the well we have to get dug in order to have water on the property…

Besides trying to figure the logistics out, I believe I am handling it quite well. I managed to keep my zen and not let it ruin my day. I learned a very valuable lesson about making large purchases without doing enough investigation on the item to be bought, for sure! But The Universe is trying to teach me another valuable lesson, even if I haven’t quite figured out what it is yet…

And I just have to trust in that, otherwise I might cry… Now is the perfect time to work on my manifestation skills!

I hope y’all had an easier day then I did!

Namaste!

Our Reality

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As Mama’s we constantly have to multitask. As I sat down to work today and start researching topics for a post, I had a little gnome rummaging around at my feet. Biting me (he got 6 teeth in at once & is crazy about using them), beating me with the cat toy & trying to get to the cords and paperwork under my desk. Before I knew it, I had nothing done and was playing with the boy. When he decided to skip his nap today, there went my ability to get any work done today and left me with nothing to write about. I can tell you the very LAST thing I wanted to do tonight after cooking, doing laundry, bathing the spaghetti off the baby & finally getting the boy in bed, is to sit down at the computer and try to think of something to write about. Then it hit me (not the cat toy this time), I know exactly what to write about!

We get frustrated. The baby won’t nap, the kids are getting into everything except what they’re aloud too and we find ourselves yelling and accomplishing absolutely nothing.

We all know that they don’t stay little long, today they are as young as they will ever be. So, instead of letting myself get frustrated, I gave the boys the attention they were craving. I played Boggle with the biggest one, took the smallest one outside to play in the grass and because the middle one was completely tuckered out from school he fell asleep on the couch and I actually got to sit the and look at him. How often do we get to REALLY look at our babies when they start to get bigger? Once they become mobile it’s usually over and all we get to see is a blur as they run past us. lol I may not have gotten any research done, but I sure did enjoy myself and got some much needed quality time with my boys.

Spirituality in my life, isn’t looking perfect while sitting under a tree meditating for hours. I’m a Mama and wife above all else. I have to cook, clean and raise these little humans to be functioning, respectful adults one day. Not to mention, I have to make sure to have quality time with my husband. The reality of my spiritual life, is that I spend most of my day trying to keep my boys from killing themselves and each other. My daily yoga consists of my having to move all the toys out of the middle of the floor first and then making sure I don’t crush any little fingers & toes during my transitions all while my feet are being attacked by the family cat, I literally have bite marks (from the baby & cat) all over my yoga mat. The times I actually get the chance to sit & meditate (which is rare) I usually end up falling asleep! My “workout” consists of me doing toe raises, squats and leg  lifts while I breastfeed the baby to sleep. Hey, the added weight has done wonders for my strength! 😉

The point I’m trying to make is this, if what you are trying to achieve is a genuine, livable, real-life sense of spiritual being, then you’re in the right place! Just because your life may be crazy hectic, doesn’t mean you aren’t living your enlightened path! I do it every day. For me, it all started by watching my tone and words with my husband and boys, it just naturally progressed from there.

In order to live your Spiritual Reality, start by taking advantage of those moments when your young’uns are driving you bat shit crazy. If they are continuously getting into something or badgering you, chances are they just need some quality attention. Give it freely! Before long, they will be dying to get away from you and you’ll miss the day they kept hitting you with the cat toy trying to play…

WE ARE BLESSED BEYOND BELIEF!

Namaste!