Part 1: The Apathy Stage


Our beliefs become so deeply rooted that they effect our entire life. Most of our beliefs are ingrained so deeply in our subconscious mind and we don’t even realize how they govern our thoughts. When we are stuck in the apathy stage (victim frame of mind)  life tends to happen TO us, not FROM us. If you are at this stage, you must acknowledge that your beliefs determine your reality. Your thoughts do not create reality, your beliefs do.

The first step in creating the reality you desire is to realize that you are stuck in this way of thinking. It’s not as easy as some people will have you believe, we are having to undo a lifetime of societal & familial conditioning! I spent years living this way. I blamed being a drug addict & my inability to love and trust on the fact that I was sexually abused as a child. I used to find a way to turn every conversation into something bad that happened to me when I was growing up. “Poor me, feel sorry for me” sort of thinking. I was living life as a victim. Which eventually turned into apathy. “What’s the point in living if life is like this?” “Why should I even try to do right if people are going to look down on me anyway?” “If I trust this man, he’s just going to let me down, like every other man in my life.””Fuck it, it is what it is so, who cares.” Because I truly believed those thoughts that’s the reality I was manifesting!  The hardest part of emerging from this way of thinking, is learning how to dream & hope again. Remember when you were a kid? How did you envision your life? Did you picture yourself with a “fuck it” attitude? Letting life happen to you instead of creating the life you want? NO! I guarantee you had big dreams for yourself! Every kid does. So what happened in between then & now to change that? It’s ok to have negative feelings about things that happened to us or things that are happening in our lives now.

Our first exercise is to write down every bad thing we can think of that happened in our life. FEEL those FEELINGS!!! Cry, scream, laugh, punch a pillow, get those negative feelings out of yourself! Then take that piece of paper outside, put it in a metal pot & burn it. Watch the smoke dissipate into the air and picture all those negative feelings disappearing along with the smoke. You should feel a sense of relief when you’re done.

So after we accept & release the “negative” frame of thought we have been living in, the second step of Part 1 is learning how to dream/hope again. This one seems simple, but can be fairly difficult for me sometimes. Let’s start trying what I call, Focus Directed Thought, instead of Unconscious (or subconscious) Creation. Play around with “what if” thoughts. If you like you can get another piece of paper and write “wouldn’t it be nice if…” statements. “Wouldn’t it be nice if I had a beautiful car that didn’t break down all the time?” “Wouldn’t it be nice if I had a man that treated me like a queen?” “Wouldn’t it be nice if I didn’t spend all day yelling at the children?” “Wouldn’t it be nice if I had the first parking spot at Walmart today?” “What if I got that promotion at work?” “What if I made over $100,000 this year?” “Wouldn’t it be nice if The Universe blessed me with that new home?” Sometimes we feel silly when we as adults daydream, but that’s the only way we can start directing our thoughts to a more positive way of thinking. We DESERVE a happy, loving, stress-free life! The Universe/God/(insert your word of choice here) did not create us to lead miserable, poor (quality or financial) lives! We have a destiny and until we can accept positive outcomes happening from us we won’t be able to live it! This doesn’t have to be one more thing you have to do today. When you’re in the shower, washing dishes, putting your make-up on think a few “wouldn’t it be nice…” thoughts and then go on with your day!

The last step in this part is so we can learn how to be grateful & recognize when we have been blessed. Sometimes we don’t always see our blessings. This is another simple one. When you’re laying in bed tonight, before you fall asleep, Thank The Universe/God/insert your word here for 5 things that happened today.

  1. I am grateful my kids were good at school today.
  2. Thank you for helping my husband see things from my perspective so we didn’t argue today.
  3. I am grateful I didn’t have to cook supper tonight!
  4. Thank you for the ability to pay my electric & cable bill.
  5. Thank you for being able to communicate with my Daddy through email today while he is incarcerated.

As you can see, They don’t always have to be huge things. Learn to appreciate the simple blessing and God (insert your word here) will gladly start to shower you with big blessings! If you want to be able to track your progress, I suggest starting a Gratitude Journal. and every night write down 5 things you’re grateful for, no more. Then you can track your blessings and in just 30 days from now I bet you start noticing a huge difference in the quality of your blessings!

You can also create a dream board. I did one about a month ago & that’s what actually motivates me to write this blog! I have it hanging right above my desk so I can see it when I’m writing and look at it when I need inspiration. It was actually really fun going and buying the magazines, cutting out the pictures and arranging them in a way that means something to me. Put the kids to bed, poor a glass of wine & have fun dreaming!

Don’t forget to follow me so you don’t miss out! Tomorrow is Part 2: Creative Visualization.



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